Parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson revealed a family tragedy on Tuesday – his beloved nephew Logan, who loved surfing, had taken his own life, aged just 20.
In stark words on social media, Dr Coulson said ‘My nephew died on Sunday night. He died by suicide.’
Logan was staying at Dr Coulson’s parent’s house the night he took his life. ‘My mum and dad – his Nan and Pop – found him on Monday morning,’ he wrote.
After the reality of what had just happened, the grandparents then had to call their daughter – Logan’s mum – to tell her the devastating news.
She was in Melbourne with her husband, celebrating a special weekend, and they had to tell her she needed to come home because her son had just died.
Parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson revealed a family tragedy on Tuesday – his beloved nephew Logan (pictured) had taken his own life, aged just 20
Dr Coulson (pictured), who hosts Channel Nine’s Parental Guidance program, said his nephew was ‘the most energetic and delightful kid I know. Kind. Fun. Laughing all the time’
Dr Coulson, who hosts Channel Nine’s Parental Guidance program, said his nephew was ‘the most energetic and delightful kid I know. Kind. Fun. Laughing all the time.’
He said his children loved hanging out with their cousin Logan and he did too.
‘We surfed together at Kirra last year when the surf was as good as it gets,’ he wrote. ‘Surfing was his thing… so much so that he was close to pro.’
The psychologist detailed the horrific moment when his parents found their grandson’s body.
He said it was ‘Too late to help. Too late to do anything except scream “No”.
‘Too late for him to hear them as they cried his name over and over again: “Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan!” “No, no, no, no, no!!!!”‘
Dr Coulson asked ‘How do you hold the body of your grandson for the last time? That was what my parents did on Monday morning.’
He then spoke of what he called ‘the ripple effect… as each new person discovers the awful truth.
‘Logan is dead? How? Suicide? No! Not Logan! How can that be? He was so happy. No! Please no.’
Logan left a note, but Dr Coulson said it ‘won’t bring peace or relief to anyone… Because he’s dead.’
He wrote movingly and honestly about how he is feeling, saying he was not doing so well.
‘My heart is shattered. Shattered for Logan. But also for his parents and siblings, and for my parents.’
In stark words on social media, Dr Coulson said ‘My nephew died on Sunday night. He died by suicide.’ Logan is pictured
Logan (pictured) loved surfing and was so good he was close to being a professional
Dr Coulson said he was not looking for sympathy, though, that his Facebook post was not about that.
Instead, he said he wanted people to know some facts about suicide in this country.
‘There are nine suicides every single day in Australia,’ he wrote. ‘Seven of those nine suicides each day are men. Two of those nine are women.’
He said suicide is the leading cause of death among people aged 15-24 and that 36 per cent of deaths in that age group are suicides.
‘Suicide is a complex issue and rarely is there just one factor that leads to someone taking their own life,’ he wrote.
Dr Coulson pointed out what can be done to help, saying that strong social connections reduce the chance of suicide.
He asked that people ‘Please, please, please, PLEASE be kind. Be compassionate. Be gentle. Be inclusive. Be supportive. Be less critical and judgmental and more of a cheerleader.
‘Don’t be on your kid’s back (or your partner/spouse’s back). Instead, make sure you’ve got their back. Love them and make sure they know it. They have to know they matter.’
Logan (pictured right) has been remembered as being ‘Kind. Fun. Laughing all the time’
Dr Coulson also said that people should stop saying ‘I have no words’ when they are confronted with tragic news, even though using that phrase is well-intentioned.
He said that last week, on his Happy Families Podcast, he spoke with Colin Campbell, the author of a book called Finding the Words, which he wrote after his two teenagers died in a car crash.
‘Colin makes the point that when we say “there are no words” we are, in some sense, reducing the person’s life to nothing.
‘We have to find the words, because the words we find tell the stories of those we love. And those stories help us to celebrate their life and our love for them,’ he said.
Dr Coulson advised that people should share their stories, feel their pain and elevate their experiences. ‘Find. The. Words. They’re there. And we need to share them,’ he said.
His friend, Gus Worland – who made the ABC series, Man Up, which is about male suicide, called him as he sat at his table and cried.
‘I’d messaged and he came through for me,’ he wrote, recommending his Gotcha4Life charity and its mental fitness plan, which he said is ‘a life-saver’.
The psychologist said his children loved hanging out with their cousin Logan (pictured) and he did too
He said after speaking with Worland, he spoke with his brother, two of his sisters, his mum, dad and then two friends.
Then two family friends brought dinner around for his family, which they greatly appreciated, but they appreciated them staying and talking to them for an hour even more.
‘And in between all of those conversations I talked with my wife, Kylie and our kids,’ he said.
‘Everyone needs someone to talk to. Everyone needs to know they matter. Everyone needs to feel seen, heard and valued.’
Dr Coulson then made what he said was a simple point. ‘If you are struggling, or a loved one is struggling, talk to someone. A relative. A friend. Call Lifeline. Get in touch with Beyond Blue, Gotcha4Life, or the Movember foundation …
‘Talk with a local church leader, a trusted neighbour, someone. Reach out. Tell people they matter.’
Dr Coulson ended his powerful message on suicide, grief and the power of talking, by saying ‘I miss Logan.’ Logan is pictured
He ended his powerful message on suicide, grief and the power of talking, by saying ‘I miss Logan. Please hug your kids. Hug your husband/wife/spouse/partner.
‘And share this message and this love with everyone who needs to know how much they matter.’
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 987
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800
Source: | This article originally belongs to Dailymail.co.uk