A dating coach has revealed five early red flags in dating, which he says you should never ignore.
Jacob Lucas is a UK-based coach who works with clients, saying he has ‘helped millions of people get the love life they have always wanted’.
In addition to working directly with clients, he shares dating content on TikTok with his 767,000 followers. He is also the author of guidebook Her Dating Coach.
In a recent video, he outlined five things people may do in early dating, saying they are red flags that should not be ignored.
Among them, are trying to elicit pity when you’ve just met, to badmouthing their ex very early on in your courtship.
Author, social media creator, and dating expert Jacob Lucas (pictured) has revealed 5 early red flags you shouldn’t ignore in a recent TikTok video
Speaking in the video, Jacob says: ‘I’m a professional dating coach. And here are five early red flags that you should never ignore when dating a new man.’
Opening with the first one, he says: ‘Number one, they will tell you secrets about their life that will make you feel pity for them early on.’
Explaining why this is a bad sign, Jacob says people who have been through genuine hard times ‘very rarely share them with people who they just met’.
He adds that when people do share this kind of information early on, it is often to see how you respond to them.
Jacob says: ‘And if they get the reaction that they are looking for, then they will think that you are easy to manipulate.’
The second red flag pertains to how he speaks about former partners, with Jacob saying it a bad sign if he badmouths them.
According to Jacob: ‘It’s a red flag if he calls his ex crazy, blames them for everything, or overshares their relationship with you when he’s only just met you.
‘It shows that he’s socially unaware because he should know that you don’t want to talk about his ex when you just met him.’
According to Jacob, it is a bad sign if the guy you’re dating badmouths his ex, and brands them ‘crazy’, blaming them for everything
Moving onto the next point, the dating expert says: ‘Number three, he’s indecisive.
‘You’ll be the one plan all the dates, and you’ll be the one making all the big decisions in the relationship, because that person can’t make their mind up about anything.’
This will become problematic, Jacob explains, because ‘it will get exhausting for you’.
The fourth red flag is him speaking badly about his friends.
‘He’s the one freely choosing to hang out with these people,’ says Jacob.
‘And if he’s calling them idiots, nine out of 10 times he’s going to be an idiot himself – birds of a feather flock together.’
Number five is not something you person you’re dating exhibits, rather characteristics he doesn’t show.
Jacob says: ‘If you are open minded, and you’d like to grow as a person, and you have ambition, and you started dating a man who has none of these traits, then you will not work as a couple.
‘[This is] because you either grow together or you grow apart.’
A number of viewers took to the comments section of the video to share their thoughts about the red flags outlined – with multiple people saying they agreed with the list
A number of people took to the comments to share their experiences with the behaviours outlined in the video.
One agreed that if the person you’re dating exhibits the red flags listed, you should avoid them.
They wrote: ‘Great list. People, don’t ignore these flags as much as you’re physically attracted to the person. Also, the way they treat others speaks volumes.’
Another agreed, adding: ‘I have literally just stopped something whit a guy because he was “too good” but the first 3 are exactly what he did the first week I knew him sooo…’
And a third wrote: ‘Thank you! This is why I don’t have a 2nd date, they see I’m not about to put up with them. Dodging bullets here!’