Let’s be honest here, all of us go through times when we can’t face having sex.Whether you’re too busy, going through a bored sex stage or just plain
Let’s be honest here, all of us go through times when we can’t face having sex.
Whether you’re too busy, going through a bored sex stage or just plain exhausted, sometimes it feels like just another chore on the to-do list.
Everyone has the right to say no to sex – and say no you should, if you honestly can’t think of anything worse.
But our sex lives are like bank accounts, you need to make a deposit now and then to keep the balance healthy.
Not all sex sessions need to be marathons, feeling like sex should last a certain time is what stops couples having it.
All of us go through times when we can’t face having sex. Whether you’re too busy, going through a bored sex stage or just plain exhausted, sometimes it feels like just another chore on the to-do list (stock image)
But what if sex could last mere minutes…with your partner completely satisfied at the end of it?
Here’s some practical ways to turn him on fast and finish fast when you’re lazy, bored or busy.
Get in the mood
1. Simmer. Get in the mood before you’re physically even together. The more turned on he is before you even touch him, the quicker he’s going to orgasm.
This takes little effort on your part: send a text to say what you plan to do that night. Keep it simple: ‘I want you inside me tonight’. Or ‘Wait until you see what happens once the kids are in bed’. Go dirtier if you want. Up the ante by sending a sexy photo instead. It doesn’t have to be explicit: a hint of cleavage, an arty shot of the side of your leg and curve of your bottom.
This gets him thinking about sex all day long. By the time you lay a hand on him, he’s already primed to go.
2. Feel him up in public. If you’re out to dinner, choose a restaurant that has long tablecloths and cop a feel under the table, preferably while the waiter is taking your order.
3. Snog him sexily on the way home. Stop on the street and deliver a quick, sexy, tongue kiss. Or do it on the bus, tube or in your Uber. It doesn’t need to be long and cringey, a quickie will do. Makes him look and feel like a Rock God.
Tracey Cox (pictured) gives some ways to turn him on fast and finish fast when you’re lazy
4. Put on some heels. Remove your knickers, swap your bra for a push-up one, put on some heels and job done! It takes minimal effort to add heels before you have sex, but it looks like you’ve made a real effort. Play to his eyes: men are very visual.
5. Don’t ask for sex, just take it. Skip the niceties, grab him as soon as he walks in, unzip, get him naked, then deliver expert oral sex. Start to finish, it will be over in three minutes.
6. Watch porn with him. Men’s brains are trained to orgasm quickly watching porn: it stems back to worrying they’ll get caught (by Mum, a girlfriend).
Because lots of women feel threatened by him watching it, it’s even more of a kick if you watch it with him. (Some women wrongly assume him watching porn means he desires the woman he’s watching more than her.
Wrong: recent research shows for most men, porn is simply entertainment. They’ll click on anything and enjoy it, half the time without even registering what the person on the screen looks like.
It’s the act that usually interests him, not the person. Choose something female friendly and appealing and turn yourself on while you’re at it.
7. Moan. Such a simple act with powerful abilities to arouse. Moaning is something that disappears in long-term relationships – we moan during high intensity sex which dials down the more we become used to each other.
We associate moaning with sex that’s lusty and erotic: hear it from a long-term partner and it’s a welcome reminder they still find us sexy, after all.
8. Talk dirty. It doesn’t need to be crude or vulgar. The best kind of dirty talk just describes what’s happening. ‘You look so hot when you do that’ or ‘Your tongue feels amazing.’
9. Use dual stimulation. If you’re giving him oral sex, reach up and play with his nipples. Bite his neck while giving him a hand job. Grab his buttock cheeks hard during intercourse.
Play with his testicles. Introduce stimulation of a new hotspot and you guard against desensitisation which happens if you spend too long in the one place.
10. Touch yourself. Play with your breasts. Stroke between your legs. Put his fingers in your mouth and suck on them. Maintain eye contact. Yes, it’s porny – but that’s kind of the point.
11. Use an arousal gel. These are gels designed to heighten sensation; they’re infused with ingredients that create a tingly sensation around the clitoris, labia or penis. CBD arousal gels and lubes are also popular.
12. Get into position! Chose a position for intercourse that allows deep penetration and fast thrusting – both are likely to make him climax quicker.
If you’ve been at it in the same position for ages, changing position will reinvigorate and – again – reduce desensitisation. There is evidence that men orgasm faster when having sex doggie style.
13. Let him see you. Men are natural voyeurs so choose positions where he can see your breasts bouncing up and down; open your legs wide.
14. Go firmer, harder faster. If you’re having intercourse, lift your hips to meet his, grind against his pelvis, ask him to go faster, deeper, harder.
15. Add a finger. If he’s on brink of orgasm but seems stuck at the just-about-to stage, add some anal stimulation. (You might want to warn him first, if you’re not sure he’ll like it.)
Apply some lube and use your little finger to play around the entrance to the anus or insert it fully. Not only does it excite different nerve endings – and there are lots of them inside the anus – the forbidden element alone will push him over edge.
If he enjoys this, try using a prostate massager next time. These are toys designed specifically to massage his ‘P’ spot. Devotees claim the prostate orgasms are the most intense you can get – and happen fast.
16. He/you don’t enjoy anal play? Try putting pressure on his perineum (the hairless bit between his scrotum and anus). Depending on what position you’re in, press the area firmly with your thumb or hold your hand in an ‘L’ shape and push up firmly between his legs. This indirectly massages the prostate.
17. Use a ‘stroker’ on him. If you don’t like doing them or don’t feel you give a good hand-job, this is the solution. ‘Strokers’ are male masturbatory sleeves. Usually made from soft, ribbed silicone, you slip it over an erect (lubed) penis, take a firm hold and move it up and down the shaft. They’re inexpensive but one of the most popular male sex toys on the market for good reason.
Maintain eye contact as you’re working on him. Force him to lock eyes with you throughout. Sexier than it sounds.
18. Use a vibrator on you. Women have been faking sex to get it over and done with for centuries. Instead of depriving yourself of an orgasm, have a real one by handing him your vibrator and letting him bring you to a climax.
19. Lie back and watch. Want the ultimate no-effort sex session? Tell him it drives you crazy watching him pleasure himself then relax and let him do all the work!
Tracey has two product ranges with lovehoney.co.uk – Tracey Cox Supersex and Edge. Listen to her podcast, SexTok with Tracey and Kelsey wherever you listen to your podcasts.