Recognize The Signs Of Abusive Relationships – Telling people to get out of an abusive relationship is easier said than done!

Leaving an abusive relationship is not as easy as it sounds. There are a lot of complicated aspects attached to it. In majority of the cases, women find it difficult to get out of such relationships. Anyone observing such women and relationships would probably say things like why do women end up putting up with such abuse and not leave at the right time. But, commenting on something as sensitive as this is very easy from a third person point of view. Only a woman or a man who is in an abusive relationship will be able to narrate what there circumstances are like.

Firstly, some people might not be able to break away from their partner for reasons like love, secondly, it could a financial issue or one more reason could be their children or even other more complicated things which just makes the circumstances of the victim more complicated. For example, one such example is developing a ‘trauma bond.’

Trauma Bonding Is Also A Feeling!

The kind of bond that arises out of traumatic events in a relationship is called as trauma bond. This develops after a repetitive cycle of devaluation, abuse and positive reinforcement. Many abusive relationships begin from love, affection and kindness and even after it turns into something violent, people are unable to differentiate between the two. It can become a toxic cycle or affection and abuse. This does not just happen to couples but it can also happen between a child and an adult or a hostage and kidnapper.

What Are The Signs Of Trauma Bonding

Trauma bond is what makes it difficult for people to leave abusive relationships.

  • A Cyclical Nature: An abusive relationship can be cyclical in nature. One second your relationship might seem fine and happy and in the next second, it could turn violent and ugly. Then again, after the abuse, the abuser might feel extremely guilty and try and compensate by being extremely affectionate. But, this cycle could go on and on.
  • Power Imbalance: In an abusive relationship, the victim is never in control, it is always the abuser who is more powerful. This control that they have takes a long time to get rid of. Even if the victim somehow manages to leave the abuser, the sense of control his or her partner had can take time to shake.
  • Confused About Your Feelings: A victim of abuse might be confused about how they feel about their partner. He or she might be feeling both hatred and love at the same time and this makes a relationship even more complicated.
  • You Are Constantly Afraid: Even if a victim loves his or her partner, fear is one factor they cannot shake after they have undergone abuse. They might also be afraid of their life at times.
  • Being Defensive When Others Point Out Such Behavior: You might be defending their behavior when your friends and family point them out.
  • You Are Still Hopeful That They Will Change: This behavior only appears out of love or obligation, you always wish and hope that the abuse will stop one day.
  • You Keep This Behavior A Secret: Victims of abuse often are secretive of their experience. This can either be out of shame or out of fear of the abuser.

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