It used to be that there was no greater fear on Christmas than getting a lump of coal — but now, thanks to one company, it’s that the pretty candy cane plucked off the tree might taste like kale.
Archie McPhee, a company that specializes in funny, bizarre, and prank-perfect products, recently debuted its new candy cane flavors for 2019 — and there’s not an appetizing option in the bunch.
The headliner this Christmas is a green kale-flavored candy cane, which tastes just like the salad green but doesn’t actually fulfill any vegetable needs.
Vitamin-free! Prank company Archie McPhee is selling kale-flavored candy canes this holiday season
‘All your Christmas dreams have come true!’ says the brand.
‘Kale Candy Canes are here! No more pesky holiday flavors to worry about, just the bitter grassiness of your favorite vegetable. Talk about a superfood, kale is not only very nutritious but also incredibly delicious.
‘This set of six Kale Candy Canes gives you the flavor of kale with none of the dietary benefits. Plus, the package features personified kale. Kids love it!’
That’s certainly debatable, though the odd candy is sure to make for a funny prank.
The brand debuted three new candy cane flavors this year, including ham
They’re also selling pizza-flavored candy canes for $6.50 a box
The store, which is located in Seattle but also sells online, is offering the ‘treat’ for $6.50 a box.
This year, there are also ‘Hamdy Canes,’ which taste like ham.
‘We think ham flavor is going to be the pumpkin spice of Christmas,’ the site jokes. ‘Eventually, you’ll be able to get a ham latté.’
Finally, Pizza Candy Canes are red and orange striped and taste like ‘a little slice of heaven’ and are ‘allegedly cooked in a candy-fired oven by Sicilian elves.’
‘If you want pizza flavor, these candy canes deliver! (In 30 minutes or less.),’ says the brand.
So juicy! In the past, the company has sold a gravy-flavored candy cane
Spicy! There was also once a wasabi-flavored candy cane with quite a kick
The company’s website notes that the candy canes, like these bacon-flavored ones, can be mixed in with peppermint candy canes to trick people
Pickle-flavored candy canes are also available to buy from the brand
The brand is known for creating outrageous candy cane flavors, several of which it has been selling for years.
”We design and manufacture the kinds of impractical items that make life better,’ reads the website.
Past flavors no longer available on the site have included wasabi and gravy.